Churches that Heal Pt.4

Processing Pain

Churches that Heal Series Part 4

Sunday, November 29, 2020

©2020 Praysers Ministries, Inc. d.b.a. River of Life Community Church

Note: Unless otherwise indicated all scriptures are taken from the NKJ

 

In this session Dr Cloud walks us through the unrealistic standards we put on ourselves and how we sort out the good and the bad through finding a place of acceptance, opening up, and using the standard as a guide.

 

Dr. Henry asks these questions

  • Which of these do you consider yourself to be more of? An Idealist or a Realist
  • Are you more likely to deny the existence of bad or to deny the existence of good?

 

Jesus said this in regard to reality…

John 16:33 “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.”

Tribulation – G2347 = pressure, afflicted or affliction, anguish, burdened, persecution, trouble.

 

How a person handles “tribulation” is taught or modeled in their family of origin.

  • What did you learn about failure and forgiveness in your family of origin?

 

Everything is Affected by Missing the Mark

Romans 3:23 – “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

Sin – from the root word G264 = to miss the mark, to err, to sin:-for your faults, offend, trespass.

 

Teaching on Forbearance

In my years of counseling and spiritually mentoring others I have found that this teaching has been neglected. It is the key to having healthy relationships and serves as a building block in our relationship structure. Dr. Janet Cook

 

Ephesians 4:1-3 “I therefore, the prisoner of the Lord, beseech you that ye walk worthy of the vocation wherewith ye are called, With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love; Endeavoring to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (KJV)

G430 – Forbearance means “to bear with” or “to endure” or “to put up with” or “to suffer”.

 

Forbearing with One Another

Colossians 3:12-13 “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”

  • Dr Henry talked about the “judging gap”

 

God’s Forbearance

Romans 2:3-4 “And do you think this, O man, you who judge those practicing such things, and doing the same, that you will escape the judgment of God? Or do you despise the riches of His goodness, forbearance, and longsuffering, not knowing that the goodness of God leads you to repentance?”

 

Transformed Relationships

Romans 12:9-10 “Let the inner movement of your heart always be to love one another, and never play the role of an actor wearing a mask. Despise evil and embrace everything that is good and virtuous. Be devoted to tenderly loving your fellow believers as members of one family. Try to outdo yourselves in respect and honor of one another.” (TPT)

  • Henry asked, according to Romans 12:9 “How are we to process both the good and bad in the world?”

 

Freedom from Condemnation for Those Who Are in Christ Jesus

Romans 8:1-2 “There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death.”

  • Condemnation – G2632 = to judge against, sentence, condemn, to damn.

 

Dr. Cloud gives three steps to process pain:

  1. Find a place of safety and acceptance.
  2. Begin to open up and look inside.
  3. Only then can the standard of the law become the guide.

 

Forgiveness is the Key to Freedom

Matthew 6:14-15 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”

  • Forgiving those who have trespassed into your life releases you from the control of your abuser.

 

Dr Henry “We are both good and bad. The people around us are good and bad. One of our tasks is to accept and love each other in spite of our failures and gently correct each other toward a goal of love. We do this through confession, repentance, and forgiveness.

 

Forbearing and Forgiving

Colossians 3:12-13 “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; forbearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”


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